next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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