.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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