Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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