I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
