Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
