thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
