Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
