Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize