He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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