Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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