i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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