I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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