but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
