Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
