One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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