Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
