ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
