my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize