Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize