I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
