K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize