I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
