Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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