So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
