Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Never underestimate the power of titties
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