rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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