You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
