he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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