You just made me feel so damn special
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
