So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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