ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize