is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
