Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
