hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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