we're blogging at a bar
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
