apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
