Dual....:-)
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
