Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
