What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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