farters have to be the big spoon...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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