U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
