I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
