Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
well you can't waste a boner
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
