she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
