My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
