Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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