I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
