what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I want is dick and wine.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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