she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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