I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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