Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
