He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
