was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
