I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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