dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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