yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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