When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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