CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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