Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
