literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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