I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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