So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
