a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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