what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I love you. Go after that dick
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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