i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
