better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
